


Batteries Not Included

by marycontrary82



Series: The late-night drabble series [1]
Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Explicit Language, Funny, NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 13:28:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marycontrary82/pseuds/marycontrary82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss makes a late-night shopping trip she'll never forget, and runs into someone she never expected.<br/>-AU- -Rated MA-      Contains mature themes and language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a Tumblr drabble prompt and it sort of got out of control. It was continued by request. Happy Reading!
> 
> Warning: This story contains mature language as well as sexual references, themes, and content.

Katniss shot a glare at the woman shopping casually beside her as she frantically attempted to tug at the hem of her shorts, willing them to somehow grow longer.

“I can’t believe you did this to me!” She hissed through clenched teeth.  

“What?” The woman remained casual as she continued to examine the brightly colored packages, with one already tucked under her arm. “Why is there so much pink and cute names? What’s up with that?” 

“I don’t know, just _pick one_ so we can get out of here!” Katniss hissed as quietly as she could, her gaze darting nervously around the store. “People are staring at me…”

She was cut off by her companion’s throaty laugh. “Yeah, dressed like that, you sure you are. Jesus, you can practically see through that shirt, and honestly Everdeen, I never took you for a booty shorts kind of girl.” With that she reached over and smacked Katniss right on the ass, much to the delight of the men who were already looking their way.

That was it that. _The final straw_. Katniss didn’t care who was staring.

“First of all, they’re Prim’s booty shorts and my _pajamas_. Secondly, don’t you ever slap my ass again unless you want an arrow through that hand.”

She glared and stepped closer to the woman, who, to her credit, didn’t bat an eyelash at her friend’s angry display. “And third, you said it was an emergency, and that you were in my driveway, so I grabbed my purse, and walked out the door, in my pajamas because I thought you had _an actual fucking emergency_!!!!”

The woman sighed, “It _**is**_ an emergency Katniss, I told you. I think I like this one. The user reviews look good….”

“No!” Katniss cut her off. “Prim being in the hospital is an emergency. You getting in a car wreck is an emergency. Finnick getting arrested is an emergency…”

“Katniss…”

“But your fucking vibrator breaking and you dragging me to Mr. Binky’s at almost midnight so you can shop for a new one is NOT A FUCKING EMERGENCY, JO!!!”

Johanna’s brown eyes sparkled, “But you’re so much fun to take to places like this. Besides, one of these is for you.”

Katniss’ eyes snapped up and she blushed furiously again. “Jo, don’t you dare.”

“What? I figured the least I could do is make it up to you. Besides it doesn’t look like you and baker boy plan on graduating from eye fucking to real fucking anytime soon, so you might as well have something to fall back on.”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Katniss’ eyes darted frantically around the room, “What if someone heard you?”

Johanna smirked and rolled her eyes, “Yeah, you’re leaning against a wall full of anal beads, I think you’re safe from judgment here.”

Katniss jumped backed from the wall, causing them all to swish back and forth, eventually sending the bottom row tumbling to the ground. “Ewww, I thought those were massagers or something.”

Johanna looped her arm though Katniss’ and tugged her towards the front of the store. “C’mon brainless, let’s get out here before one of your admirers tries to strike up a casual conversation over the butt plugs and you knock all those over too. I’ll even buy you batteries. The good kind.”

“Does that even matter?”

“Yes, trust me, you’ll want the long-lasting kind if you’re headed to the bakery to check out Peeta’s buns again tomorrow.”

“Jo….” Katniss hissed, “I swear…”

“Cheese buns, I meant Peeta’s cheese buns of course.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.” 


	2. Chapter 2

As they made their way towards the front of the store, Katniss, could still feel the men in the store staring at her. She tugged uselessly at the shorts again. Oh god, Johanna was going to pay for this, and soon.

As they passed through the DVD section, something caught Katniss’ eye and caused her stopped in her tracks, barely registering Johanna colliding with her back as she grabbed the movie title off the shelf and examined it.

“What the fuck, Kat?” Jo yelled as she stumbled into her back, gripping the fabric of her thin white tank to hold herself upright. “Don’t you even watch where you’re….hold up. Are you not even wearing any underwear at all?”

Katniss crossed her arms over her chest as her olive skin started to flush red again. “No, fuck, Jo, I’m not, okay? I thought we already established that at the back by the anal beads!” She hissed quietly.

The other brunette’s brown eyes twinkled and her face broke into one her patented ‘ _I-know-something-you-don’t-know_ ’ smiles. “No apparently we did not. It’s pretty obvious that you’re not wearing a bra, but you’re not wearing underwear either?”

Katniss tugged uselessly at the shorts again.  _Fucking Johanna Mason_. Dearly.  _She would pay dearly_. “What does it matter, Jo? So what if…?”

Johanna’s howl of laughter interrupted her midsentence. “Oh my god, this is too funny,” she snorted between breaths. “No wonder they’re all staring you like that. They think you’re open for business.”

Katniss eyes widened in alarm as the DVD slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor. “What? They think what!?”

Johanna just laughed harder as she bent to retrieve the DVD. “Oh it’s fine, Kat. It’s not like they’re going to drag you to the back alley or something. Let’s get out of here before someone makes you an offer.”

Katniss shoots her a glare as she tries to swipe the movie case back and place it back on the shelf but she’s too late.

“Why’d this one catch your eye anyway, I didn’t really take you for a bad babysitter kind of girl but…..” Johanna looked up just long enough for Katniss to catch the knowing smirk that spread across her friend's face before her face flushed again and she immediately tried to memorize the patterns in the carpet.

“I didn’t……no reason. Just put the damn DVD back, Jo. Let’s go home.” She tugged on her friend’s arm but she didn’t budge, the smug grin still stretched across her face as she examined the movie case with mock interest. “I don’t know Katniss. I think maybe I might buy this one. It’s on sale, after all, and the actor looks kind of cute. What’s his name? Let’s see here…Tyler Nixon.  _Real_  cute.”

Katniss’ face begin to turn the same crimson shade as her shorts. Her voice came out like a squeak. “Oh yeah?” She desperately tried to feign disinterest as Johanna pushed the case back into her hands.

“Yeah, I’d say pretty hot, actually.”

“Mhhhhm.” Katniss kept her gaze locked on the case in front of her.  _Maybe if she didn’t make eye contact she’s just drop it._

“A bit familiar though, don’t you think?”

 _Damnit. She was caught_.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he almost looks like someone we know. Can you think of anyone he looks like, Katniss?” She could  _hear_ the smile in Johanna’s voice.  _That smug bitch_.

She sighed, glancing sideways at her companion. “I don’t know, maybe.”

Jo laughed again, “C’mon, Katniss, just say it. If you really don’t want to, then maybe I’ll just buy it for myself and enjoy a baker fantasy tonight of my own.”

Irrational jealousy surged through Katniss at the mention of the baker. She snatched the DVD out of Johanna’s hand and marched towards the door, seething. “No you can not have it, because you dragged me down here and you said you’d buy me something and I want this movie, too! It’s _mine_. Just because it so happens to have a guy that _sort of_ looks like Peeta Mellark doesn’t mean anything!”

“Aha! You admit it! It does look like him! I _knew_ it! I _knew_ you had the hots for him.” Johanna smirked in triumph.

Katniss’ eyes widened in panic. “I do not! I barely even know him…..”

Johanna followed close behind as she marched up to the register, handing their purchases to the bored-looking attendant. As he bagged the items, he stared unabashedly at Katniss’ outfit. “You ladies want batteries with those too?” He pointed to a handwritten sign behind the register. “Batteries Not Included.”

Johanna smirked at Katniss again. “Yeah, the long-lasting kind, please. She’s going to need them for all the pent-up sexual aggression she _doesn’t have_ for a guy who _may or may not_ look like the guy in this video.” She threw Katniss a sweet smile.

As they made their way towards the exit, bags in hand, Katniss fumed, “Dammit, Jo, are you serious? Stop it with the Peeta stuff!”

“Oh come on Kat, I’m just playing around…”

Katniss voice was tense. “Well I’m not! Just leave it, okay?” She said defensively. “It’s late and I have no underwear, and everyone thinks I’m a hooker. This night can’t possibly get more humiliating. No more mention of Peeta Mellark.”

“Ummm, wait, Katniss, about Peeta, oh shit…”

“No, I said no more, Jo, I meant it!”

Katniss stomped out the door, not bothering to look up as she knocked directly into the man who was attempting to enter through the same door. She mumbled a halfhearted ‘sorry’ as she tried to right herself, still staring at the floor.

“No ummmm, it’s fine, I’m sorry, ummmm, oh god….”

Katniss’ slowly lifted her face as her brain registered the familiar baritone of the voice speaking to her and met the _very_   wide, _very_   surprised, _very_   blue eyes of the one and only Peeta Mellark.

_Well, shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you meggiemellark for providing me with the name of Peeta's porn doppleganger! (You're awesome!)
> 
> And thank you to everyone who encouraged me to continue this fun ride!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see notes at end of chapter for sequel information.

Katniss couldn’t seem to drag her eyes away from Peeta’s as the panic rushed through her.

 _Shit, this was not happening. Why the hell had she had to say that this couldn’t get any more humiliating?_ Isn’t that always the last thing people say right before something much, much worse and way more humiliating happens to them? Like, every single time? She’d practically sealed her own fate.

Peeta still looked stunned, opening his mouth to say something, then with a slight shake of his head closed his mouth and stayed silent instead, finally averting his gaze down. Unfortunately, he seemed to finally spot the bag in Katniss’ hand as his cheeks turned a distinctive shade of pink.

Katniss was still too stunned to speak, trying to tell herself that this would be okay, and there was no reason to be embarrassed that Peeta Mellark had just run into her.

In Mr. Binky’s. With a vibrator and a porn and an embarrassing large pack of batteries in her shopping bag _. Nope. No reason at all_.

She could feel her face flush as Peeta’s eye’s stayed glued to the bag in her hand, and the silence stretched out awkwardly.

“So Peeta, what brings you here so late? Doing a little midnight shopping or just hoping to get lucky and feel up a passerby?”

Damnit, leave it to Johanna to break the silence in the most uncomfortable way possible.

At her words, Katniss suddenly became acutely aware that Peeta’s hands had still been resting on her sides to steady her and he still had her pressed up against his chest.

Crap. And she wasn’t wearing a bra, and her shirt was paper thin, and his hands felt _really, really good_. Oh god, there’s no way he wouldn’t notice. Thank god it was cold in the store so she could at least blame it on the air conditioning.

“Not that they would mind, though, I’m sure.” Now she could hear that smug grin back in Jo’s voice.

“Ummm...” Peeta reached one of his hands up to rub the back of his neck, his face still blushing red as he looked anywhere but at Katniss.

_Oh, Johanna was going to pay for this. Was she ever going to pay for this._

She couldn’t help but notice that his other hand lingered at her side, though, ghosting down past the hem of her shorts before he snapped it away, seemingly coming to his senses.

She stepped away from Peeta, her face and neck flushing from the embarrassment, and she finally spared a glance back towards Johanna, trying to convey everything she wanted to say into a quick glare. ‘ _I hate you for this. I want to kill you. I can’t believe you did this to me. Shut up. Don’t you dare say anything else. Let’s get out of here!’_

 It obviously didn’t work, though, as Johanna flashed her a sweet smile and turned her attention back to Peeta. “So, Peeta, you never did answer the question. What does bring a nice boy like you to a place like this, hmm? You a loyal customer?” Katniss could hear the teasing tone in Johanna’s voice but she couldn’t help the burning curiosity the crept up at the question. What _was_ he doing here? Was he shopping for himself or someone else? The thought made her stomach churn a little.

She couldn’t bring herself to look at him as she heard him try to stutter out a response. “Uhhhhh, no, I don’t come here often…..”

As his words, Johanna broke out into a fit of cackling laughter. Katniss bit her lip in an unsuccessful attempt to stifle her smirk.

“….Ummm, I mean I don’t _come_ here ever, or like, often, or anything, or oh god, I mean, that’s not why I’m here tonight, I mean, just, ummm….” Peeta was blushing profusely now and Katniss was trying hard to ignore the butterflies that formed in her stomach when he nervously rubbed the back of his neck and the way it made his upper arms flex.

His eyes found Katniss’ again and he was looking at her intensely now, almost apologetically as he huffed out a breath. She couldn’t help but be amused at this turn of events. For once, Peeta Mellark, general charmer and wordsmith extraordinaire couldn’t string a sentence together. At least she wasn’t the only one mortified by the situation at hand. And maybe it wasn’t quite so bad, really. He was here, too, right? It’s not like he could judge her if he was here for the same reason. _Right?_

As Katniss thought about how to best put him out of his misery, Johanna’s voice once again interrupted her thoughts. “So you’ve established that you don’t _come_ here often….” poor Peeta’s cheeks turned a shade pinker at the smirk in her voice  “….but you still haven’t explained while you’re here in the middle of the night in such a hurry to get in here you’ll trample down any poor defenseless girl that gets in your path.”

Katniss barely had a chance to level another glare in Johanna’s direction before Peeta spoke again. “Trample? Shoot, Katniss are you okay? God, I’m so sorry, ummm, l didn’t hurt you did I?” He still seemed embarrassed but worry was now etched on his face as he attempted to examine her, looking for signs of injury. As she shook her head, she couldn’t help but feel a small shudder when Peeta’s warm hand touched her arm. “Really, though, if you’re hurt, god, I really am so sorry, I wasn’t even paying attention, and then I was just so surprised to see…….”

“No!” She said sharply, praying that he wouldn’t notice how little clothing she was now wearing. “It’s fine! I’m not hurt or anything. Really. It’s fine.” She tugged uselessly at the bottoms of the shorts again. _Jesus, where did Prim even get these anyway? Why were they so short?_ She made a mental note to check the rest of Prim’s drawers when she got home and see what other kind of things her little sister was buying when she wasn’t around.

She heard Peeta take a sharp inhale could see his body go stiff in her peripheral vision. Maybe he just saw someone he recognized? _Oh god, please don’t let him notice her outfit, please don’t let him notice her outfit…_

“What’s the matter, Mellark? _Kat_ got your tongue.” _Fucking Johanna Mason_. Katniss swore to never speak to her again after tonight. _Or maybe just kill her_.

“Ummm, yes, it, ummm, I uhhhh, what was the question?” Katniss kept her eyes glued to the floor but she could swear she could feel Peeta looking at her.

Johanna couldn’t disguise the laughter from her voice. “Why you’re here, knocking down girls on the way in, remember?”

At this, Katniss looked up at Peeta again and could swear she saw his eyes dart away from her as he flushed red and started to rub the back of his neck. _Damn, why was it so cute when he did that?_

“Oh, uhhhh, I’m uhhhh, I’m….” Peeta spoke as if he was in a trance, still not making eye contact, his eyes focused on an imaginary point in the distance. “……I’m not here for, uhhhh, I’m here for Glimmer actually. Last minute emergency.”

Katniss felt like she was going to throw up. _Oh god. Not her_. Anyone but that bitch. Glimmer? Seriously? Had she really misjudged Peeta that much?

“Funny, that’s why we were here, too.”

Peeta was still talking in his trance-like state, but managed to look over at Johanna, confusion marring his perfect features. “You’re here for Glimmer, too? I didn’t realize you were friends.”

If she weren’t so gripped by the irrational jealousy again, Katniss might find the situation amusing, but instead, she finds herself annoyed. She glares at Johanna with everything she can muster, willing her to take the hint so that they can get the hell out of there before they have to hear anything more about _fucking_ Glimmer. She never liked Glimmer, but chooses to ignore the fact that she hates her more now than she ever has. She glares at Peeta, too, but he’s still not even looking at her, his hand now absentmindedly tugging at his blonde curls and his cheeks till tinged a slight pink as he stares into the nothingness of the store. Katniss can’t help but hate how attractive he looks while exercising the nervous habit.

Johanna, though, isn’t one to shy away from speaking her mind, and scoffs loudly at his last comment. “Friends? Not likely, Mellark. You wouldn’t catch me within ten feet of that bitch, but then again, there’s no accounting for taste, I guess, is there? And last I heard, she was engaged to Marvel, but I guess that’s why you’re the one doing the midnight shopping in the first place, right?”

Peeta finally seems to break from his trance and turns to looks at Johanna. Katniss can see a hint of confusion still on his face. “Yeah, she’s…..not pleasant, that’s for sure, but Marvel’s not exactly  what I’d call agreeable either, ummm, so I don’t know, maybe they’ll be perfect for each other.” He shrugs as if to confirm this and he finally looks at Katniss again, fixing his bright blue eyes on her face. She feels almost thankful for the amount of humiliation she’s already endured, as it at least helps her stop herself from blushing again under his gaze.

She breaks eye contact again and glances back at Johanna for guidance, but Peeta continues and her eyes snap back to his in horror at his next words. “Personally I don’t really like dealing with her at all, I think she’s kind of spoiled, you know, but she’s giving me a lot of money to make her happy, so who am I to argue, I guess.”

 _What?_ Katniss vaguely wonders why her legs feel wobbly all the sudden. _Paying him? What the hell is he into?_ Is Peeta some kind of gigolo? Katniss suddenly feels the need to get as far away as possible and pretend this whole night never happened. _Oh god._

She steps back and grabs Johanna’s arms to pull her out of the store and away from this terrible night, and the ogling men, and this embarrassing run-in with Peeta. As they make their way around Peeta, Katniss’ cheeks are on fire and she can’t even look at him.

Of course Johanna can’t resist a parting jibe, though. “If she’s paying you that much, Mellark, I must have underestimated you. I always took for a bit of a square, but a late-night sex toy run for another man’s fiancé is a bit twisted, even in my book.”

At that, Peeta’s head whipped around to the two girls and his hand reached out to grab Katniss’ but she yanked it away before she had the chance. _What is he playing at?_ She tried to ignore the way her heart clenched just a little look on his face when she refused him.

“What!? No! Oh my god, no, it’s not, no, did you think, ummm, did it sound like, uhhhh, that’s not what I was saying, ummm…..” Peeta huffed out a breath as he stammered on, his whole face now turning a distinct shade of pink as he look imploringly back and forth from Johanna to Katniss. “…..Ummm, Glimmer is engaged. To Marvel. Uhhhh. To be married.”

“Yeah, I think we established that.” Johanna arched her eyebrows and crossed her arms, curiosity obviously getting the best of her, too.

“Oh, ummm, she’s having a last-minute party thing, I guess, and ummm, well, there’s a theme, and she came into the bakery at the last minute, and normally we make our own molds, and our own candy to decorate the cake, but she didn’t come in until this afternoon, and by the time we got around to figuring everything out that we would need, and I owe Rye a favor, more like 5 favors really...” He was looking directly at Katniss again as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. She tried to avoid the heat of his gaze this time and only now took the time to notice that he was still wearing his white bakery apron. _How had she not noticed that?_ “….And, so ummm, here I am, ummm, you know, to get the stuff for Glimmer’s cake. _Only_. Just her cake. Nothing else. Uh, ever. Just the cake.” Katniss could still feel him looking at her, even though she was still staring at his chest in the bakery apron. _Couldn’t they at least have a logo or something there so she had something to stare at?_ She could feel the blush spreading from her neck up to her cheeks again.

Johanna’s bark of laughter broke her from her thoughts. “And what exactly **_is_** the theme of the cake, Peeta, hmm?”

Katniss couldn’t help looking up at Peeta in curiosity. His eyes widened at Johanna’s question and his face turned the closest to an actual shade of crimson she’d ever seen. He stuttered as his gaze dropped to the floor. “We didn’t...we didn’t have any molds for that, ummmm, and there wasn’t any time to…to….to...to make any, uhhh, plus we needed the candy for the toppers and everything, so…..” He trailed off and waved his hand around the store by way of explanation.

Johanna couldn’t contain the snorting laughter that was erupting from her mouth her any longer. “So you’re here for, what, penis candy?” She almost sobbing, she was laughing so hard now.

Peeta’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “And a mold.”

Johanna almost fell over as she clutched her side with one hand, holding onto Katniss’ arm with the other. “Oh my god. Well in that case, it sounds like you have a _very long_ night ahead of you. Have _fun!_ ” She yelled the last part in a sing-song voice and Katniss watched as Peeta eyed them both as they began to exit the shop. He still looked so dejected, and she couldn’t help herself. “Hey Peeta?”

He looked surprised, considering they’d barely spoken ten words throughout the entire exchange, but he glanced at her hopefully and cleared his throat. “Hm. Yes Katniss?”

“What kind of cake is it?”

He blushed a little again, but smirked. “Vanilla with pink buttercream icing. Cream filled.”

Johanna laughed again as Katniss smiled and nodded her head as they walked out the door, giving Peeta a little wave as she turned around.

She shook her head as they made their way towards the car. “Well, thanks a lot, Jo. Now I’ll never be able to buy cheese buns again.”

Johanna winked at her as she looped one of her arms through Katniss.’ “Don’t worry; I’ll make sure you get cheese buns this week. As for after that, trust me. I’ve got a plan.”

“Whatever it is, count me out.”

“It’s not optional. Don’t worry, it’ll be great. Do I ever steer you wrong?”

“How about tonight?”

“Tonight was great! I had fun. Didn’t you have fun?”

“You know, I really do hate you.”

“You don’t, you love me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who reviewed, liked and favorited this story, especially when I was bombarded with anonymous hate messages about it when it was originally posted on Tumblr. I appreciate your support!
> 
> There will be a sequel to this story, but as it will feature a different time frame and point-of view, it will be posted separately as a one-shot. It will be posted as part of the 'late night drabble series.'
> 
> Thanks for reading. :-)

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to my lovely beta, forthegenuine, for fixing my mistakes!
> 
> And a big thanks to all my lovely girls on Tumblr who encouraged me to write this and continue: Especially Famousfremous, Naqia, & madefrommemories. They are my biggest cheerleaders. Thanks girls!


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